4.0 Years Being Single, What Did I Feel?
Hi guys, welcome back to my blog! Today I would like to share my experience being a single haha I don't even know why I am writing this thing:( So, the last time I had a relationship was on April 2015. After that, I was being a single for 4.0 years. 4.0 sounds like a new era of industry revolution wkwkw doesn't it?:( When I broke up on April 2015, I cried a lot like really a lot for almost a week. I'm a type of girl who put my fullest feeling into my mate, anzaay pisan kan. So yeah losing my partner really ruined my days at that time, regardless who ended the relationship. A group of people thought that it was my fault to be broken hearted because I was the one who ended the relationship. They thought that I shouldn't cry because the wound was created by myself. Somehow, I have my own opinion. The one who cuts the relationship doesn't always mean he/she no longer loves his/her partner. It because he/she realizes that the relationship will not get any better no matter how hard they try. Farewell is absolutely miserable, but it's not forever. It's okay to cry, it's okay to be not okay sometimes.April 2015 was exactly the time I have graduated from SMA Negeri 2 Cimahi. I was chosen to be the new student of Faculty of Economics and Business, Universitas Padjadjaran. I was accepted through SNMPTN. Alhamdulillah. My ex-boyfriend was also a student of Unpad, but we were studying in different campus, gratefully. It made me easier to forget and forgive about us because we almost never meet again and I start busy with my new routines. In the first year as maba, I adapted myself in new environment, new friends, new activities. Being a college student is sometimes cool, but also quite stressing haha. So yeah I was busy studying, attending practical class, attending meetings with my organization colleagues, learning new skills, playing music, preparing for the mid-semester and final-semester exams, preparing for the angklung concert, preparing to perform in Japan, writing my undergraduate thesis as the final requirement to achieve my degree, and so on. So many things I have done in the past four years and I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed how time flies as a me-time. I enjoyed it all alone and I had no plan to share it with another special person. Few boys did come closer to me but we never commit into a next stage of relationship. We're friends right now and they're all good and kind.
Something bothered my mind. That I perhaps too enjoyed doing all these things alone, that I forget how to do PDKT wkkww yaampun:( because I usually do everything by myself. I don't need to report or share anything to anyone, I don't need approval from others, or else. It feels weird that it is changing right now because there's someone special that I'm attracted to *jyakh*. His name is Fadlan. He is kind, patient enough, sometimes wise, quite smart, and other things I like. I did make a poem for him huahaha but I won't post it on my blog because he might get a red-cheek! Wkwkw. Besides, I'm too shy to show it publicly sih because it perhaps contains disgusting sweet talk hahaha. My point is, it takes time for me to get into a relationship again. It's not as easy as like that for me to fall in love again. I was selective enough, I was scared of another failure. There were fears following me from behind. But I realized I can not be that kind of person forever. Looking back is necessary but looking forward is also essential. I forgive what I've done, I learn from the previous experiences. And here I am opening my heart again and it feels good indeed! I hope everything will be alright between me and Fadlan. See you on my next post ya!
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